Have you come to the realization that, because you’re of a certain age, some of your dreams will never materialize? In your childhood, it’s the garden-variety, “I’ll never be Cinderella/Prince Charming,” stuff. That whole, “win the lottery” (sustaining you through most of adulthood) is really far-fetched, especially if you only buy a ticket once every eight years. Personally, chances are good that I’ll never be able to carry Bruno Mars around in my pocket. Until they change celebrity stalker laws. I’ve made my peace with that. Sometimes you have to tweak that goal a bit.
Recently I was able to achieve a lifelong dream (keeping a celebrity in my pocket is more of a recent idea) in an unexpected way. I’ve spent most of my life in search of missing family. Well, they’ve never thought of themselves as missing, but they’ve never been a part of my circle. For me, these missing pieces have been a structural element lacking from my very foundation.
When you spend so many years without answers, the fantasies take mainstage. The people in question become something they most certainly are not. In my situation, I spent many hours of many days creating a circumstance with no basis in reality. Just like the lotto ticket dream, where everyone creates a detailed world filled with good deeds and fancy cars, my missing family fantasy was just that.
This dream was finally realized after several decades, but not in the way I had planned. The family in question, when found, were not at all what I expected. What I fantasized. That requires some regrouping. The most amazing part of this story is that an unforeseen family member turned out to be kind, funny and completely in-tune with my oddities.
Some of the dreams we have die a slow death. Some will remain important our whole lives, but it’s ok to turn them on their head a bit. You may not be able to carry Bruno Mars around in your pocket. So find something completely different to store in your pants. The results may be equally satisfying.